Ventilation is part of Therapy

Let me make this loud and clear : I am sick and tired of dealing with the idiotic self-absorbed ramblings of my mother. I swear if she does not stop pissing me off, somebody will get hurt. physically. every time she starts that lecture of hers, i feel like jumping off my seat and wring my hands around her throat. if she's lucky, my fantasy would settle with grabbing her hair. Anything, to make her shut the hell up.

I've said this may times. I've done nothing wrong. Nothing. I'm not failing in school, i'm not out doing drugs, i'm not hanging with hooligans, i'm not prostituting myself, i dont run away, i dont drink, i dont go clubbing, i dont date, i dont make out with random strangers, i dont get arrested. i call her once a week; she wants it every day. i want to take on a big prohect with the whole refugee thing, she thinks its a waste of time n i shld get something in a hospital. i do the drug addict thing, interviewing 4 people a day, she says i have poor time management and should talk with the admin people. when my face breaks out, she tells me i look dirty. i get a skin infection, she says i have poor 'skin hygiene'. what the f*ck does that even mean. she tells me the way i speak is very arrogant. damn right it sound arrogant after u consistently piss me off every chance u get u lousy b!tch. grow up and be a mum.

'all this is to help you. noone else will tell u coz they dont care. i'm telling u becoz i'm yr mum'. enough. enough. ENOUGH. one of these days if you dont shut the hell up about how terrible i am or how badly i treat you or how i 'worship' my dad or how i 'idolize' my stepmum...mark my words, i will most definitely cut myself up, your own 'flesh & blood' mutilated in front of you because of your own doing, you wouldnt know what hit you. lucky you that u have a spare daughter since your first one is so faulty. God must hv f*cked u up real bad with this deal, lousy husband=lousy kid. Maybe then, u'll shut up and leave me alone.

maybe, just maybe, you'll realize that you HAVE a daugther who DOES care about you. believe me when i say i love you, but i'm saturated to the point i don't give a sh!t as to how this relationship turns out. I'm always wrong, i cant please you. Dont like me, find another daughter. you have my blessings.

Please...i'm tired. i cant take it. i dont want to take it anymore. PLEASE. dont anyone ever try to tell me otherwise. i;ve tried everything. i've been patient. i've tried talking. i tried letting things cool. i've tried being nice. Fact is, fire will always burn whatever stands in its way.

I'm a smart girl. At least i was a smart girl. If i'm actually seeing drugs or suicide as a solution, dont u f*ckin try to tell me that I am the problem.