And I would like to thank The Academy...

For the past 6 Saturdays, I've been going for a class at The Academy. What class? Well...Let's just call it GOAT, it's sort of an acting class. Forgive me for being vague. I'm thankful that the Teacher decided to take in a bigger class; that gave me my chance of joining. But I must also thank a certain Anis Akmal for giving me the nudge i needed to actually register.

Keeping it real, GOAT has its share of fun. It was an eye-opener for me, giving me an 'overview' of the sub-zero world of entertainment in Malaysia (mind you, the more quality entertainment). The quesion now : did i get what I wanted out of the class? Not exactly. I wanted a new circle of friends (didn't quite happen) I wanted to be actively taught the ways of the performing arts (nada) I wanted a refreshing, fulfilling, 'self-discovering' experience (sort of but not quite). What I least appreciated was having to compromise my own principles of human contact (no offense to others). What did i gain from GOAT?

1) i have new acquaintances. (the words 'friend' is very intimate to me)
2) i realized how uptight i can be about having fun and letting myself loose
3) i now know my voice is too soft and that i sometimes mumble, plus the fact i am completely silenced/drowned in group discussions (not entirely my fault)
4) i am exposed to, and gained more knowlegde of 'The Scene'
5) i realize how incapacitatingly self-concious i am about how my personality comes across and about the things i really care about (wanting to be good at it)
6) i now know i don't trust people with my handiworks (aida, u r lucky) and my ideas : i have to do it my way, by myself to truly be satisfied
7) i learned to accept that no matter where you go, you are bound to have idiots on your team and that not everyone can accept your brand of creativity
8 ) i realized that i have to be more assertive about sticking to my principles (at the risk of being called a bitch) before i lose my own self-respect : it's better to lose others' respect than your own
9) i can finally see that i am actually broke even though i dont make high puchases : the small ones add up to quite a sum
10) i should have a lil more 'drive', zest, gusto, enthusiasm, commitment in the things i choose to do

So, the road not taken : "O, I kept the first for another day!" Well, that 'day' was GOAT, and am I going to venture down the path? Yes, but probably not in the near future.

Before GOAT, I have been involved with performances when I was in school. Why -even with all these involvements- am I still not good enough? In my opinion, it's because I've never had a mentor, a teacher, or (as cocky as this may sound) someone better than me that I can learn from. I just replicate what i see from movies and videoclips and add my own twists to them. This is why, for now, I am soughting after classes that would both enhance/exercise my creativity and complement my academic schedule perfectly. To me, it's now or never. Any academic would know how demanding it is to be in the medical line. By next year I'll have internships and in the following years, I'll start to be on-call for round-the-clock duty. The first year after graduating, I'll be a house officer, which translates as 'hospital slave' (seriously, my senior now works from 6.30am-9.00pm and is on call 3 or 4 nights a week!). After that, its off to my post-graduate studies (I do intend to become a specialist) and years of adjusting to life as a qualified physician (and marriage, perhaps?). So tell me, enlighten me, how am I going to juggle my creative hobbies with that kind of schedule?

Since I have a penchant for writing long blog entries, I guess I shall split this one in two. So... I'm not done yet!!