The continuation. It's just that since I am talking about the arts, I thought that I'd list my track record. I may be a complete virgin about The Scene in Malaysia, but that doesn't mean i haven't been involved with anything of the sorts in the academic institutions I've been in. To me, art is about expression. so here i am listing everything I can recall about my involvement in things that have anything to do with expression and the arts.
Dance
1996 'Wau Bulan' (I did portions of the choreography)
1999 'You Drive Me Crazy' (I did portions of the choreography)
2001 'You Rock My World' (It was for aerobics, we only used half the song but
i did 90% of the steps. We won first place inter-class!)
Inter-class Cheerleading. I just added here and there (I was a last minute
recruit!)
Some multi-cultural dance we did with a Hindi song. (i did portions of the
choreography)
2003 'We've Got It Going On' (aerobics, full-song, and I did it 95%. we scored
pretty good)
2006 Koi Mil Gaya (just a few minutes of the song for my play When Aci Met
Nana)
Yeh Ladka Hai Deewana (same as above)
Choral Speaking
1997 Save Some For Us (I was conductor, but teachers handled everything)
1998 Pied Piper
1999 i don't remember the title, but i was conductor and handled everything
2000 Mr. & Mrs. Obesity. (we went to the state level in 2001 with this one and
ended up 4th. i wasn't the conductor but i handled 85% of everything)
'Madah Berpuisi' = BM version of choral speaking. (i wasn't the conductor,
but handled 75%. we won!)
Music
-2002 I'm a grade 5 pianist (a lousy one!)
1996 school choir
1997 orchestrated the chorus singing for the English Club group performances
2000 school choir 'extras'
2005 college 6 choir (orientation week)
orchestrated chorus singing for Minggu Mesra Pelajar closing ceremony (i
even had a solo line)
Acting
1997 group performances withing the class (i was a bangladeshi with a mental
illness)
i played the role of the typical makcik-mother (we never got to perform
though)
patriotic themed PUISIDRA in which i played a rubber tapper
1999 class group performance (i wrote the script and all, but don't quite
remember the storyline; i know it had a queen....it was awful)
2000 wrote & acted in a play for the Karate Club luncheon (rather disastrous)
won Best Actress during the Karate picnic (i played the role of a retarded
beggar)
wrote & acted a class play for Teacher's Day (we didn't get to perform...it
wouldn't have worked anyway)
auditioned for The Red and Gold Shoe musical under Teater Muda (i got
the part, but my parents were concerned about the practise schedule
intefering with my academics so, i didn't follow through)
2002 MRSM Taiping's adaptation of Romeo and Juliet called Remy and Julia for
the Minggu Bahasa Zon Utara ( I played the Sultanah and i dont quite
remember the character it was based upon)
class group performance of The Necklace ( I prepared the script & I won
Best Actress)
2004 PUISIDRA for Malam Emas PASUM (our VC loved it!)
2005 PUISIDRA for the closing of Sambutan Minggu Kemerdekaan Kolej 1, 2 & 6
2006 wrote+acted+directed+choreographed When Aci Met Nana for the 6th
College Alumni Dinner performance (a desperate, last-minute request from
a friend to perform a sketch)
Since I'm proclaiming the exictence of my artistic side to the world, I might as well add that I also write poems occasionally. Most of them aren't worth reading, but some of them are rather clever & creative for the average layman i must say. I know what I'm writing here is a useless track record ( i mean, i can't use any of these to write in a resume), but this is a reminder to myself of what i was (and maybe still am) capable of.
So, the post is finally finished. U may say I'm making something out of nothing, but these events were really important to me especially now that I am rediscovering LIFE! So, enough of my gloating already. Thanks for checking in!
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
And I would like to thank The Academy...
For the past 6 Saturdays, I've been going for a class at The Academy. What class? Well...Let's just call it GOAT, it's sort of an acting class. Forgive me for being vague. I'm thankful that the Teacher decided to take in a bigger class; that gave me my chance of joining. But I must also thank a certain Anis Akmal for giving me the nudge i needed to actually register.
Keeping it real, GOAT has its share of fun. It was an eye-opener for me, giving me an 'overview' of the sub-zero world of entertainment in Malaysia (mind you, the more quality entertainment). The quesion now : did i get what I wanted out of the class? Not exactly. I wanted a new circle of friends (didn't quite happen) I wanted to be actively taught the ways of the performing arts (nada) I wanted a refreshing, fulfilling, 'self-discovering' experience (sort of but not quite). What I least appreciated was having to compromise my own principles of human contact (no offense to others). What did i gain from GOAT?
1) i have new acquaintances. (the words 'friend' is very intimate to me)
2) i realized how uptight i can be about having fun and letting myself loose
3) i now know my voice is too soft and that i sometimes mumble, plus the fact i am completely silenced/drowned in group discussions (not entirely my fault)
4) i am exposed to, and gained more knowlegde of 'The Scene'
5) i realize how incapacitatingly self-concious i am about how my personality comes across and about the things i really care about (wanting to be good at it)
6) i now know i don't trust people with my handiworks (aida, u r lucky) and my ideas : i have to do it my way, by myself to truly be satisfied
7) i learned to accept that no matter where you go, you are bound to have idiots on your team and that not everyone can accept your brand of creativity
8 ) i realized that i have to be more assertive about sticking to my principles (at the risk of being called a bitch) before i lose my own self-respect : it's better to lose others' respect than your own
9) i can finally see that i am actually broke even though i dont make high puchases : the small ones add up to quite a sum
10) i should have a lil more 'drive', zest, gusto, enthusiasm, commitment in the things i choose to do
So, the road not taken : "O, I kept the first for another day!" Well, that 'day' was GOAT, and am I going to venture down the path? Yes, but probably not in the near future.
Before GOAT, I have been involved with performances when I was in school. Why -even with all these involvements- am I still not good enough? In my opinion, it's because I've never had a mentor, a teacher, or (as cocky as this may sound) someone better than me that I can learn from. I just replicate what i see from movies and videoclips and add my own twists to them. This is why, for now, I am soughting after classes that would both enhance/exercise my creativity and complement my academic schedule perfectly. To me, it's now or never. Any academic would know how demanding it is to be in the medical line. By next year I'll have internships and in the following years, I'll start to be on-call for round-the-clock duty. The first year after graduating, I'll be a house officer, which translates as 'hospital slave' (seriously, my senior now works from 6.30am-9.00pm and is on call 3 or 4 nights a week!). After that, its off to my post-graduate studies (I do intend to become a specialist) and years of adjusting to life as a qualified physician (and marriage, perhaps?). So tell me, enlighten me, how am I going to juggle my creative hobbies with that kind of schedule?
Since I have a penchant for writing long blog entries, I guess I shall split this one in two. So... I'm not done yet!!
Keeping it real, GOAT has its share of fun. It was an eye-opener for me, giving me an 'overview' of the sub-zero world of entertainment in Malaysia (mind you, the more quality entertainment). The quesion now : did i get what I wanted out of the class? Not exactly. I wanted a new circle of friends (didn't quite happen) I wanted to be actively taught the ways of the performing arts (nada) I wanted a refreshing, fulfilling, 'self-discovering' experience (sort of but not quite). What I least appreciated was having to compromise my own principles of human contact (no offense to others). What did i gain from GOAT?
1) i have new acquaintances. (the words 'friend' is very intimate to me)
2) i realized how uptight i can be about having fun and letting myself loose
3) i now know my voice is too soft and that i sometimes mumble, plus the fact i am completely silenced/drowned in group discussions (not entirely my fault)
4) i am exposed to, and gained more knowlegde of 'The Scene'
5) i realize how incapacitatingly self-concious i am about how my personality comes across and about the things i really care about (wanting to be good at it)
6) i now know i don't trust people with my handiworks (aida, u r lucky) and my ideas : i have to do it my way, by myself to truly be satisfied
7) i learned to accept that no matter where you go, you are bound to have idiots on your team and that not everyone can accept your brand of creativity
8 ) i realized that i have to be more assertive about sticking to my principles (at the risk of being called a bitch) before i lose my own self-respect : it's better to lose others' respect than your own
9) i can finally see that i am actually broke even though i dont make high puchases : the small ones add up to quite a sum
10) i should have a lil more 'drive', zest, gusto, enthusiasm, commitment in the things i choose to do
So, the road not taken : "O, I kept the first for another day!" Well, that 'day' was GOAT, and am I going to venture down the path? Yes, but probably not in the near future.
Before GOAT, I have been involved with performances when I was in school. Why -even with all these involvements- am I still not good enough? In my opinion, it's because I've never had a mentor, a teacher, or (as cocky as this may sound) someone better than me that I can learn from. I just replicate what i see from movies and videoclips and add my own twists to them. This is why, for now, I am soughting after classes that would both enhance/exercise my creativity and complement my academic schedule perfectly. To me, it's now or never. Any academic would know how demanding it is to be in the medical line. By next year I'll have internships and in the following years, I'll start to be on-call for round-the-clock duty. The first year after graduating, I'll be a house officer, which translates as 'hospital slave' (seriously, my senior now works from 6.30am-9.00pm and is on call 3 or 4 nights a week!). After that, its off to my post-graduate studies (I do intend to become a specialist) and years of adjusting to life as a qualified physician (and marriage, perhaps?). So tell me, enlighten me, how am I going to juggle my creative hobbies with that kind of schedule?
Since I have a penchant for writing long blog entries, I guess I shall split this one in two. So... I'm not done yet!!
Tuesday, October 3, 2006
Escort of A Beauty Queen
Well, well. The idea of this post came months ago, but a question asked by a dear old friend prompted me to write it up. The question-of-the-year "What's wrong with being superficial?". (Frankly, I almost puked at her gall for even asking ME such a thing)
True to the genetic codes embedded in one's inherited DNA, some people are born more beautiful than others. Facial features at harmony with one another, the stature 'just right' and skin with flawless complexion. But as they say, everybody's beautiful in their own special way. Look around you; observe what's going on and you know that's crap. So, I am here talking about the people whom society view to be 'the pretty ones', as encoded by DNA.
It's not really my fault that I have beautiful friends. Most of which, I knew even before the blossomed into society's eye-candy. So we go out, just hanging around and here comes a sad bunch of wolf-whistlers, oggling at a certain someone in our group, desperate for attention from non-other than the Beauty Queen. On a different occasion comes a wandering hand, groping at dear old Beauty Queen's ass while lining up for McD's. Switch the scenario to one with the more intelligent breed of men. So as all of us sit down for a chat, these 'suitors' make an equal amount of conversation with everyone, just being friendly and enjoying the company. A few days later, Beauty Queen gets 'the callback'. Funny how you can say these situations resemble auditions. This Beauty Queen would, more often that not, turn them down after a period of 'getting-to-know-them'.
And so the same thing happens eveytime we go out. It doesn't take a genius to know that everyone else is getting sick at how these 'suitors' time and time again go after the Beauty Queen. The rest of us, are just people who happen to be around her at that moment in time. Just escorts of the Beauty Queen; entities that are not meant to attract. We are the styrofoam and bubblewraps that come along in the box of you brand new television set. As I said earlier, although 'suitors' are equally pleased with the quirks of the escorts, at the end of the day, we don't exist. Invisible, disappeared into oblivion, and next time around they go "...and you are?". Some of the sleazier ones actually bother to befriend escorts, and after enough time has lapsed not to be rendered as 'desperate', would actually enquire as to the status and well-being of the Beauty Queen.
Sickening isn't it, being regarded as an escort? Although we know we have just as much (or maybe more) to offer than the Beauty Queen, we are being brushed aside. Don't get me wrong, Beauty Queen doesn't mistreat us in any way. It's all good and friendly. It's just that where suitor's are concerned, we apparently become invisible just because we didn't win the genetic lottery. So just once, I wished someone would take a second glance of me for what I have to offer instead of taking second glances of the Beauty Queen I am with. I'm not envious of the attention given by the sleazy wolf-whistling degenerate morsels of society, but the ones with more integrity. For the 'suitors' who failed to win ye fair maiden's heart and suddenly show interest in us humble escorts (especially once they realize we ARE females) : thanks, but I personally refuse to be a consolation prize. Even lifelong escorts have their pride.
Back to the question "what's wrong with being superficial?". Well Beauty Queen, if I were you, I'd be sick of the way people treat you so superficially and cease all cosmetic tweakings. Why go through all the trouble to feed the idiosynchrosies of the typical pool of 'suitors'? It may not necessarily be your fault, but there are things that you can do to elevate the expectations and open the eyes of these occasionally unfortunate souls. It's up to people like you to divert the attention of 'suitors' to something better : substance
I quote Memoirs of a Geisha : " An autobiography would be like asking a rabbit how he looks like while jumping around in the field. A memoir, on the other hand, would be the rabbit's view of the field while he's jumping about, and of course, his thoughts and emotions while doing so". So to my readers, this is MY view of the 'field' and the 'players' of this 'game'; since I am obviously not IN the game but somewhere, peeking from the sidelines. After all, rabbits are shy creatures, right? *wink* And I'll leave you to that.
True to the genetic codes embedded in one's inherited DNA, some people are born more beautiful than others. Facial features at harmony with one another, the stature 'just right' and skin with flawless complexion. But as they say, everybody's beautiful in their own special way. Look around you; observe what's going on and you know that's crap. So, I am here talking about the people whom society view to be 'the pretty ones', as encoded by DNA.
It's not really my fault that I have beautiful friends. Most of which, I knew even before the blossomed into society's eye-candy. So we go out, just hanging around and here comes a sad bunch of wolf-whistlers, oggling at a certain someone in our group, desperate for attention from non-other than the Beauty Queen. On a different occasion comes a wandering hand, groping at dear old Beauty Queen's ass while lining up for McD's. Switch the scenario to one with the more intelligent breed of men. So as all of us sit down for a chat, these 'suitors' make an equal amount of conversation with everyone, just being friendly and enjoying the company. A few days later, Beauty Queen gets 'the callback'. Funny how you can say these situations resemble auditions. This Beauty Queen would, more often that not, turn them down after a period of 'getting-to-know-them'.
And so the same thing happens eveytime we go out. It doesn't take a genius to know that everyone else is getting sick at how these 'suitors' time and time again go after the Beauty Queen. The rest of us, are just people who happen to be around her at that moment in time. Just escorts of the Beauty Queen; entities that are not meant to attract. We are the styrofoam and bubblewraps that come along in the box of you brand new television set. As I said earlier, although 'suitors' are equally pleased with the quirks of the escorts, at the end of the day, we don't exist. Invisible, disappeared into oblivion, and next time around they go "...and you are?". Some of the sleazier ones actually bother to befriend escorts, and after enough time has lapsed not to be rendered as 'desperate', would actually enquire as to the status and well-being of the Beauty Queen.
Sickening isn't it, being regarded as an escort? Although we know we have just as much (or maybe more) to offer than the Beauty Queen, we are being brushed aside. Don't get me wrong, Beauty Queen doesn't mistreat us in any way. It's all good and friendly. It's just that where suitor's are concerned, we apparently become invisible just because we didn't win the genetic lottery. So just once, I wished someone would take a second glance of me for what I have to offer instead of taking second glances of the Beauty Queen I am with. I'm not envious of the attention given by the sleazy wolf-whistling degenerate morsels of society, but the ones with more integrity. For the 'suitors' who failed to win ye fair maiden's heart and suddenly show interest in us humble escorts (especially once they realize we ARE females) : thanks, but I personally refuse to be a consolation prize. Even lifelong escorts have their pride.
Back to the question "what's wrong with being superficial?". Well Beauty Queen, if I were you, I'd be sick of the way people treat you so superficially and cease all cosmetic tweakings. Why go through all the trouble to feed the idiosynchrosies of the typical pool of 'suitors'? It may not necessarily be your fault, but there are things that you can do to elevate the expectations and open the eyes of these occasionally unfortunate souls. It's up to people like you to divert the attention of 'suitors' to something better : substance
I quote Memoirs of a Geisha : " An autobiography would be like asking a rabbit how he looks like while jumping around in the field. A memoir, on the other hand, would be the rabbit's view of the field while he's jumping about, and of course, his thoughts and emotions while doing so". So to my readers, this is MY view of the 'field' and the 'players' of this 'game'; since I am obviously not IN the game but somewhere, peeking from the sidelines. After all, rabbits are shy creatures, right? *wink* And I'll leave you to that.
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