The End is Near & Say HELLO To a Brand NEW YEAR!!!

Hey there. I know it's kinda cliche` to post up all this year-end summary and end the post with resolutions, but 2007 has been kind to me. Could I have done any better this year? Of course. Did I make mistakes? Less than I should have. Did I fulfill my resolutions? Heck no! Well, on my defence, I've somewhat decided to make goals/resolutions to follow according to my birthdays. So, on that note then yeah, I did quite a bit.

Why is 2007 special? Coz the 'ups' are really, really 'ups'. The awesome things that 2007 unveiled for me (in no particular order) :

1. STARMAKER bootcamp. The time of my life.
2. Performing. My role as NAFSU in the College 8 Drama for Festival Seni UM, and I sang solo in public for the first time at The Attic.
3. I got a new car. Chevrolet Optra5.
4. Baby J!!!!
5. Went for 2 spa trips. 1 with Dad in Redang, 1 with Mum in Jerejak.
6. Got my picture & 'quote' in Harian Metro, regarding the bootcamp. Hey, not everybody gets a chance!
7. Mum signed me up to the gym, Fitness First. Though I haven't been there in a while.... :-P
8. THE most AWESOME snokelling experience in Redang. Worth the vertigo afterwards.
9. New cousin, Muhammad Irfan!!! He's so adorable.
10. I got to watch a lot of great theatre shows. P.Ramlee (twice!), Madu Dua, 4.48 Psychosis, Tunku (twice!), Menopause, Harith Iskandar's stand-up comedy...just to name a few

That's the 10 that I can think of at the moment. I'm sure there's a lot more.

On the down side? Well, family is family. Its the same damn thing every time. Fights with my mum are too many to mention, my increasing annoyance toward dad+stepmum is too boring to talk about. The events that really rocked my boat were the humiliating public emo lecture by MJ on Hari Raya (just because I forgot to call her back!), and my sister's hyperventilation episode. Truth is, my family is a bigger burden on me than I thought. Other 'downs' include having to shut a few people out of my life, my growing restlessness & imprisonement in Medicine, and the overwhelming sense of loneliness within a crowd, not knowing where I belong. Plus, finding out that Min, my cat is sick and may pass away from renal failure. She's been with me for 14 years, and I'm only 21! How many of you have friends as long as that?

So. Resolutions?

1. Shave my head bald
2. Try not to kill self
3. Figure myself out, pull myself together
4. Enrol in at least 1 acting/dance workshop a year
5. Embrace & succumb to Medicine. Or drugs. Whichever comes first.

Turning 20 last year was like My Rebirth. I was just realizing that I've been on auto-pilot since my parents' divorced when I was 16. Too consumed n absorbed in everything that even my good times are tainted. Anything before that seemed fuzzy; with exceptions. If you read my post, '20' you'll understand and see that I've pretty much done what I said I'd try. Turning 21, and having experience the bootcamp; I haven't felt that alive in a long time. It was very refreshing. It was An Awakening. I rediscovered quite a few things about myself and also coming to terms with some rather...'unsavoury' facts about what I've become. Next year, I turn 22, and I want to call it My Liberation. So there may be some weird stuff going on, but lets just hope that by the end of it I'll be comfortable in my own skin. After all, you only live once. I don't want to look back one day and suddenly realize I'm missing so much, regretting my youth, trapped in my square, predictable, mundane life.

That's all folks. Be sure to tune in next time. Happy Holidays and have a Fantastic New Year.